Friday, September 1, 2017

Revelation will come:

Dear cousin, There will be no space for sorrow. When the Regeneration comes, there will be nothing but for all of mankind to rejoice. Still, I know that after, people may feel badly about what happened to me. Just know that I will be at rest. And the darkness will be quelled. I just hope and pray the truth reveals itself to you before long and that you are not hurt by the truth in any way. Because I know how hard this will be for you even while everybody is rejoicing. I know how much you have had to deny this, and regrettably, how much you still will deny it. Don’t let that hinder you. Tell the truth at your own pace. I just want you to know Cousin, that you are very strong. I sincerely hope that they have stopped acting in the ways that they did with me under their supervision. Please know that, in spite of everything, none of this was your fault. I understand if you had to confess the opposite of what I was saying. I know that you do not believe me. Know that if this is the case, it is only resulting from the amount of time that has passed, or the delay in my coming. It was not resulting from any ill will on your part. I know that in a lot of ways I realize it’s my fault. Not the abuse. But the fact that I am coming so late. Listen to me Alex: the Lord Jesus said that He desires mercy not sacrifice. There was a reason that I could not allow myself to disclose my secret and go live with you and your family. Part of my being prays that God reveals to you the reason why I could not tell about what was happening to me. A larger part of me hopes that revelation never befalls you for the sake of your own sense of peace. That larger part of me also tells me that I shouldn’t even bring this up. But my being, my soul needs to at least say this for the sake of my own sanity. And that is the reason I have chosen to withhold a large part of my life and a reason for many events that followed. I am so sorry. I still find myself plagued with the realization of seeing you weep before me there at Wasaga so many years ago. I don’t know who I became with what happened to me. All I know is that I find myself feeling that I would be happier if I just suffered so much in my life that my spirit and will to live were destroyed as opposed to my possessing even a little bit of malice. I do not intend for the last choice I will make in this life to be an act of vengeance. Even knowing that I am innocent because I was a child, choices were made. But those choices were not mine. But now, the choice is mine to let it go. I love you cousin. You have been a great source of light and hope to me. In spite of everything. I pray that if God reveals this to you that by His grace, you’ll do the right thing. I am leaving this secret in your hands. I am so sorry that this truth was delayed in coming for so long. I’m sorry I allowed you to believe that they are good people. Use reason when you judge. May God the Father place upon you and your wonderful family the most sincere of blessings in the name of Jesus the Christ. I’ll never forget your great support when we were young boys. I empathize with the reason you could not remember. These are traumatic truths. I can handle this; what’s surely coming. I’m pretty sure I know what you guys are thinking. I have been gifted with a foresight. Believe me, I understand you. But I am strong enough. And things will get better. I can’t help but thinking to myself, ‘what took you so long?’ in coming out with it. Especially knowing what I am going to endure. Even knowing that right now, I am enduring hell in this shame that is perpetuating because of this silence. Even knowing that it might get worse. Not to shame you in any way. Just know I love you and that this is not your fault. I know it wasn’t your fault. I will be patient, through whatever I need to. The reason I did not return your call is because I don’t want you to have to keep denying something that, in time, will prove true. When you come out with it, I want it to be genuine so that people know. I want to say the same to my sister and mother. It wasn’t your fault for not remembering. You are so strong. I forgive you completely. You were probably my only family in my life. And the fact that you tried when no one else did, means so much to me. I want to remember you as the beautiful people you are. Better times are coming. Keep faith in that. Changes are coming. I love you. Sister, I know that this was an unfair position that I put you in. I just hope that you’ll find forgiveness for me, for those who have hurt you over your life (not necessarily in the same way) and for yourself. Brother, thank you for your support shortly after my disclosure to you and sister about what happened to me. I know that the three of us were, for the most part, brought up in atheist environments. I just pray that you will consider the possibility of hope and love of God. God is so great and has done so many great things for me. I want you to see that. Mom, I’m sorry for getting you unfairly involved in this. You know I love you and that I would never want to hurt you. I was hoping that you may remember. I wanted not to get you involved after I realized you were struggling with it. I’m so sorry. I did not want things to come to this. I love you dearly. God’s blessings. None of this was your fault. It was never your fault. The child, the teenager, the man you knew me as was not the real me. What you saw was probably a symptom. I’m blessed to have been able to have found the real me. I am just rejoicing that God’s will is accomplished. Somewhere, at some point the will of God is accomplished. To anyone else who had to deny what I was saying, I understand you. I know how things are at this moment. We need to know that things are going to get a lot better. I understand your lack of support. Because of the state of things. I always remind myself that darkness has continued to grow strong. I love you all. And if you didn’t support me or believe me, and I still made an effort to reach out to you, there is a reason for that as well. You are clearly a great light to this world. At the same time, I want to acknowledge and praise all of those who did support me. Thank you for everything. I could not have done this without you. I know how frustrating this must be for you, in looking for evidence to prove what I am saying. I know how difficult it must be to believe in something with little to no corroboration. Don’t forget what I have said and done. The fact is that there is a reason this secret is so obscured. The evil one is trying to destroy me. He will not succeed. But, I’ve got to say, this life is very stressful. That darkness will not lift until the time is right. Again, I am not asking you to believe until there is a reason to. But that you store this in your hearts so that when it happens, truth will revitalize the hope you are now nurturing. I know I have brought a lot of others into this, perhaps unfairly, knowing that they would not be able to support me. No one gets to say that I was well taken care of as a child. You can hide a lot behind closed doors. A parent can feed a child, they can clothe it, give it everything it could ever crave. If they are raping and abusing it, you can say what you want, they do not have that child’s best intentions at heart. What I know is that if I do overcome death and find rest through my faith in God, my cousin will reveal what happened to me sometime after. I am just asking you to have faith. Do not be hard on him or anyone else involved for not remembering sooner or being unable to remember. His inability to remember rested in my chosen will for him. A will chosen by shame and fear. Cousin, this was not your fault. I love you. Of men alive, at the present time, none is as righteous and possesses as strong a spirit as my cousin. My cousin, to you and your family, I leave a warm blessing. And to your wonderful daughter, I leave a blessing on her future. Remember: What good will my forgiveness have, without truth? We will get a pleasant and very big surprise. The way things are going, truth might – hopefully – come out earlier. Remember what I have already been through. Remember this: that facts are not truth. The evil one is very skilled at covering up facts. Through that, truth always remains. There is a reason I keep saying, we might get a surprise. This needs to come as a surprise. When this happens, we may think differently about a lot of things. What happens behind closed doors, often stays behind closed doors. That's how the evil one works. In darkness. Things will get better. Illuminate this world with your light and Truth Lord Jesus. I know how much you have had to deny this, and regrettably, how much you still will deny it. Don’t let that hinder you. Tell the truth at your own pace. I will be patient, through whatever I need to. When you come out with it, I want it to be genuine so that people know. And it will be. This is not in my head. I appreciate your care and concern. But you need to know that truth about what happened to me is absolutely 100% coming out. That to me, is clearer than the light of day on Earth. Jonathan